I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i now understand why vodka
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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