He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
