Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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