I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
