Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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