Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize