Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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