I met the friendliest cop last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
