3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
