You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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