Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
