Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
