I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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