help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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