no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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