Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
