You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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