shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize