the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
