Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
