): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
