Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
