i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
