how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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