I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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