I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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