Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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