for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
