Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
