So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
