ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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