Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
