ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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