i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
