I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
