Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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