O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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