Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
