Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
