stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
