I just pynch a tree in the face
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
