wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
