Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
