Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize