Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
