she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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