I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
