the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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