Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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