i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
