He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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