I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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