Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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