If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
