Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
