obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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