Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
