AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just google imaged poop.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
